If someone close to you is drinking excessively, you may be unsure what to do. You may be concerned, frustrated or unsure how to react to them. However, your help can be really beneficial. Although you can’t force someone to change, you may offer understanding, encouragement, and advice towards healthy habits. This article sets out effective ways to help a loved one, as well as taking care of yourself.
- Know the Signs of Problem Drinking
Not all regular drinkers have a problem, but there are certain familiar red flags that could indicate unhealthy use. They include:
- Drinking to manage stress or emotions.
- Missing responsibility because of drinking.
- Changes in mood, sleep or behaviour.
- Lying or hiding the fact that they are drinking.
- Drinking even though there is a health, relationship or legal problem.
Recognising these warning signs can enable you to go into the situation more boldly and with more compassion.
- Choose the Right Time to Talk
Timing matters. Don’t try to have a serious conversation while your loved one is under the influence or when emotions are running high. Instead, wait for a calm, alone moment when you can speak freely. Begin with worry, not criticism—use “I” words such as “I’ve seen you drinking more and more, and I’m concerned about you.”
- Listen Without Judgement
People are more likely to open up when they feel heard, not criticised. Allow your loved one to speak without interrupting or leaping to conclusions. Avoid using terms like “alcoholic” or making accusations. Instead, consider their well being: “You haven’t seemed like yourself recently. Is everything alright?” Listening can help them create trust and feel comfortable talking to you in the future.
- Encourage Professional Support
You don’t need all the solutions, and you shouldn’t bear the load alone. Gently advise that they consult a GP, a counsellor or an alcohol support service. In Australia, services like as the Alcohol and Drug Foundation (ADF) and Alcoholics Anonymous Australia provide free and confidential support.
You can argue, “There’s no shame in seeking help, many people go through this. I can assist you find someone to talk to if you want.”
- Set Healthy Boundaries
Supporting someone doesn’t mean enabling harmful behaviour. Be clear about what you’re willing to tolerate, especially if their drinking is affecting your mental health or safety. This may include refusing some situations, like not going to social gatherings where you intend to consume a lot of alcohol or not lying for them. Boundaries are a type of self care that supports the health of the relationship.
- Take Care of Yourself Too
Assisting someone during a difficult time can be emotionally draining. It’s critical to take after your own health. Speak with a trusted friend, attend a support group such as Al Anon (for friends and family of people with alcoholism) or consult a mental health professional. You are not being selfish; you are making certain that you have the strength and support to care for your loved one.
Wrapping Up
Supporting a loved one who is drinking excessively needs a delicate combination of compassion, honesty and boundaries. While you cannot make decisions for them, your concern and encouragement may be the catalyst that prompts them to seek assistance. Remember that you are not alone; help is available for both you and the person you care about.
By tackling the problem with patience and understanding, you may help create a safer, healthier future—not only for your loved one, but for your entire community.
